Friday, November 20, 2009

The Final Countdown

It's 5am and I am awake. This could have something to do with my having gone to bed at 9:30pm...Oh well. I'll use this time to catch up on some stories.

We left Kitale Monday morning. Initially, we thought our flight was at 10, so we told the Class 8 boys they could come over at 8 and we'd leave at 9. Then we realized our flight was at 11...so the boys came over, watched a movie and Bre cooked them breakfast. They looked through pictures and watched videos of themselves from the trip...it was a very fun morning.

We got to the Kitale airstrip and were informed that the plane was delayed "by about an hour". So we waited. Dan {our taxi driver} ran in to town to pick-up more customers, leaving the boys to spend time with us...sweet Dan.

Dan, Stone, Martin and JustusBre and Dan {who insists Bre is a better dancer than I am}
Martin and Stone
And so we waited. And waited. Our originally-scheduled-for-11:15 flight showed up at almost 1:30. Bre and I were happy to spend that time with these boys instead of sitting for a few more hours in the Nairobi airport.

At some point the boys asked if we had any "American shillings" that they could see. So we took out one of each coin and talked about the value in relation to each other. Then I pulled out one of each bill I had {a $1, a $20 and, remarkably, a $50--which I don't think I've ever had before}

Stone
Justus
Martin
Then, while putting the money away, we found my sunglasses. Why hadn't we used these as a photo prop before?

Stone with my glasses and Bre's wheeling bag
Martin took about 14 pictures of himself in these glasses {I kept 5 of them}

I'm not totally ready to detach from this world...but I'm not sure I will ever be ready to do so.

I love Kitale. I love the kids we work with. I love the adults we have built friendships with.

I love that, this time, it was easy to tell people I would be back...and they believed me.

Can't wait to go home again...hopefully soon.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Hey, Hey. Bye, Bye, Bye.

Yesterday was our final Sunday morning at Oasis Church.
So, of course, we took about 100 pictures...in case we didn't have enough already.

I'm actually playing beat-the-clock right now...our taxi should have been here 6 minutes ago...so I won't put names this time...you've seen most of these kids before anyway.

Can't wait to see how much older they are on my next visit!





































Say Goodbye

Yesterday, after church, we spent the afternoon and early evening with House 1 and 2. We even extended our stay by a few hours because we just couldn't stand saying goodbye. Here are quite a few pictures from our super fun afternoon.

Pato
Moses and Stone {with the crazy work gloves we bought}
Stone and Moses


Moses and Bre {and those gloves}
Stone
An accidental {and great} picture
Paul, Joseph, Evans and Pato
Martin and Pato
Martin, Evans, Moses and Pato
Pato, Stone, Bram and Joseph
Evans
Pato and Joseph
All the boys in the boot
Paul
Joseph
Stone
Stone and Moses
Martin
John
Evans
Moses and Evans
Bram
Joseph
Pato
Evans
Joseph, Pato, Martin and Paul
Martin
Joseph
Showing Paul how my Papa dances.
He tried it too, but no one took a picture to show how silly he looked...
Martin, Paul, Evans and Joseph
Bram
Stone
Moses
Martin and Evans
Moses and Paul
10-second timer
This one is my favorite


Evans
Martin and Stone
Stone put the crate of sodas on my face until I agreed to buy more
Stone and Moses
My goodness did I cry leaving that house...leaving these boys...leaving Kitale.
I love, love being here.
I don't want to miss entire periods of their lives.

I don't think I cried as much, or for as long, as I did last year...
I just know that I'm coming back.
Soon, hopefully.

One Saturday Night

After our tour of the town, the boys went to the Youth Meeting at church and we went to say goodbye to Discover to Recover. Bre and I painted nails for the entire 90-minutes we were there, Jordan was surrounded by 10-15 small children pulling his beard and taking pictures with Bre's camera.

Here are some of the best pictures from the centre:
Churchill {we call him Chachi}
Churchill and Benja
Stella put on sparkling lip gloss and then took this picture of herself
The man in the room {who works at the centre} taught the kids this pose.
This is one of about 25 photos of pointing kids.
After Discover, we went to House 2 for a final dinner. The boys wanted to cook "rice", but "the long, skinny rice...what do you call it? Oh! Spaghetti." So we had a GIANT pot of "rice"...6 packages for 17 people. {But only one jar of pasta sauce because Martin was the only Kenyan who wanted any.}
Joseph {I love that giant smile}
John
Martin
Stone
Bre started this thing called "snake bite". It is one of Stone's favorite things to do.
After dinner, the night turned in to a giant dance party. Bre and I danced with most of the boys {Kenyan dancing seems to be a bit like line dancing; everyone stands in a line and one person chooses the move that everyone will do. Most of the time, it makes things easier for me, then I don't really have to try to look cool--I just instantly look super white.} There are a few videos of this, but I'm not sure they would be fun for anyone who was not there...

Saturday, November 14, 2009

One Saturday Morning

Many of the boys from the houses {House 1, 2 and 3 that I continually reference} are former street boys. Most ran away from home as a result of abuse or lack of food and came to the streets of Kitale in search of survival. Their time on the streets ranges from Esokon {3 weeks} to Martin, Bram, Evans and Moses {5-7 years}. They carry memories and reminders of the streets in scars on their bodies and, as was more evident than ever yesterday, they carry emotional scars as well.

We had asked the former street boys to meet us yesterday morning to take us on a tour of town...not just main Kitale town, but the town they knew. The town where they scavenged for food, gambled away afternoons, sniffed glue to escape and huddled for warmth.

I had never seen this Kitale before. I don't think I was prepared for what I saw...and I definitely don't think I have processed it yet.

Allow me to do so here.

First of all, it should be noted that Steward showed up to meet us wearing this. I made a few cowboy and bank robber jokes, neither of which was appreciated.The tour started-off slowly. I think they thought I knew where I was going. Finally, one of them asked: "Where are we starting?" I said, "I have no idea, I'm following you!" And they stepped-up.

They quickly decided a route through town {I couldn't understand the Swahili, but I could understand the pointing and gesturing to mean head this way and come back around.} They also took our cameras so they could take pictures and we could participate. {And also so we weren't the crazy tourists in the back alleys of Kitale.}

We started by walking through an alley behind the bank. They said, before the bank was built, it was a sleeping place for many of the street boys, including Bram. The current shops behind the bank were once a large trash heap where they would search for and cook food during the night. Bram pointed up. "See that big tree? I used to sleep there..."

There was no sadness in their voices. All of this was just statement of facts. Which was not unnoticed or unfelt by me.

We stopped, for a split second and all the boys began to talk at once...looking at me. They were saying, "We can't go back to our old ghetto with empty hands. Can we please bring some bread and some milks for them?" How could I say no to that? So, we gave a little money and they went in to the store.

As we waited, we began to be swarmed by street kids {and what Chris calls street fathers--the older men who also live on the streets}. I stood with Bram and Evans who continued to give me their life histories. I was already amazed, this trip, by Evans' English abilities, but yesterday as the boy in Class 4 translated for his brother in Class 7, I couldn't help but smile.

Bram's story {briefly}:
He left Northern Kenya to come to Kitale. He was on the streets for a while and came to the original Oasis of Hope Centre {which they showed us yesterday--such a treat}. He said, "Mom {Lydia} used to teach me Math and I was high on glue." After a while, the government decided to "clean-up" the streets by rounding up the street kids and putting them in juvenile centres or rehabilitation facilities. Bram was taken to the former, first in Nairobi and then in Mombasa {on the coast}. Over a year went by and Bram ran away from the centre. He came back to Kitale and was found in the street by some Oasis Centre kids who had been sent by Geoffrey to find Bram because he had heard Bram was back. {News travels fast on the street.} Bram came to the then-new, now-old centre and was taken to the group home that day. The boy standing next to me yesterday--dancing with me last night--is so sweet. I can't imagine him living on the street...and I can't imagine not having a Bram at Oasis...or in my life. {This is Bram--in the red beanie}
This man came up while we were waiting for the boys. He showed us his cart and said he is a cartman. He asked if we needed him to cart anything. He continued to talk, but I was so much more interested in Bram's story.
The boys came out of the store with three or four giant grocery bags filled with loaves of bread and single-serving milks. And we walked toward their "Ghetto". Evans, in his newly-acquired gangster voice said, "Hey yo man, this is my ghetto, man!"

We met this street man, Wilson. He took a liking to Bre and held her wrist through the rest of our walk through town. Notice his glue bottle. {A little background, in case you are unfamiliar with glue sniffing: there is a toxin in shoe adhesive that, when inhaled causes the user to become high. They sniff to curb hunger, forget the cold or be distracted from the life they have on the street. It should also be noted that there is a recipe for non-toxic glue, but the companies make too much off of sniffers to lose that profit. Sniffing is popular in street populations all over the world...and many of the boys that were with us yesterday have kicked that habit.}
We passed by a large trash heap and the boys pointed: "Here's where we would dig for food."
We ended up back here. In their ghetto. It was, essentially, a few wooden shacks leaned up against a building. Moses said, "This used to be really nice. It's bad now." Stone said, "This is where I would sleep! Me and Martin and Timothy..."

They knew everyone by name. They shook hands with friends, sang some songs a little bit, joked with a few of them. Bram said, "These boys are thieves, but I know them. They are my friends." Moses told Bram to hold my bag for me.

They found one old friend who had been hit in the face with a bench on Friday night and had 10 of his teeth knocked out. He had gone to the hospital, but did not have money for any medicine. We gave him 200 shillings--about $3 to take care of his hospital bill and buy some medicine. {While we were standing there, the guy who hit him with the bench showed up, but was chased away--and, evidently, beaten by the other boys}.

The boys had the street boys gather around and gave them each three slices of bread and a package of milk. I wish the video would load because it is one-minute of complete sensory overload, but so incredible to watch. I will have to post it from California.
We continued to walk through town. Back behind the buses that take people all over Kenya. The buses the boys will take "home" for Christmas.
The boys were going to take us to the right of these shops, but we were stopped by another street man who said they found a severed head in that ghetto on Friday...so we just kept walking. The boys were very good about making sure we stayed in the safer parts of the slums.
Pausing to decide where to go next...that severed head really threw-off the plan
Sweet Evans who came to the streets when he was 7...he is now about 15 and so kind.
Steward did a great job capturing the morning
We did run in to Joseph {a teacher at Oasis}. He sells books in town when he is not at the Centre. He sold me this really cool, old collection of F Scott Fitzgerald stories for 100 shillings--about $1.25}
This is where Moses used to sleep. He said, "These shops close at night and you can sleep on the sawdust. It is soft and then you can just sleep with your charcoal bag under your head and be okay." Moses' story is one of the best...but I think I'll have to save it for another post.
We stopped at the bank to get lunch money. I love this picture of Bram and Joseph. Joseph lived on the streets for a while, too, but would not take us to any of his places...or tell us any stories. I'm not sure about his reasoning, but that too, did not go unnoticed.
Our group, finished with the tour, walking toward lunch.
Pato
Chicken and chips for 17 people. Geoffrey walked by the window, so we called him to come and join us, too. It was really cool to hear Geoffrey talk to Martin about all of the people we'd seen in town. Geoffrey knew them all. I love that. It shows even more of his heart for the street kids of Kitale. {Evans, Leila, Esokon, John, Stone and Moses}
A platter for everyone. Geoffrey wrote each first initials in ketchup over each boy's fries.
Bre, Wiki and Steward
He also tucked-in napkins for the boys.
Evans and Joseph
Evans was just one of the boys who cleared his plate. All that was left was tiny bones.
Leila {who said she'd also never been to most of these parts of Kitale} and Esokon

I apologize for the length of this post. Hopefully, the pictures helped a little.
As much as I love those of you who read this blog each day, I wrote this post more for my own memory and journey. I don't want to lose these things...these little moments, conversations, facts. For your sake, I'm trying to contain some of them in an on-paper journal as well.

I can't imagine that this is the last I will post about this morning.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Give It Away, Give It Away, Give It Away Now...

We had to say goodbye to Oasis today. I cried telling Geoffrey that it was our last day...even though he already knew. After a morning of efficiency {the kids cleaned the church, I finished another project}, and an afternoon of "Enchanted" {which I love...and love even more listening to the laughter of 100 kids watching it}, it was time to say our goodbyes.

Jordan and Bre said their goodbyes just fine {no tears, very articulate}, I took one step and totally started crying. Thankfully, I pulled it together and finished decently.

We ate lunch with the kids and then sat out front of the centre for a while playing and laughing. Then we walked home with all of the kids from Shimo {honestly, probably 20 kids}.

EllyLucy, Peter, Celinah and Alfayo pointing to the photo board
"Me, you, Alice, Chris, Dina, P.I.G"
Alfayo
Celinah
I spent the afternoon with the newly-graduated Class 8 boys. We had them over to the house and after a soda, we watched some of the videos from the most recent dance party, wrote an email, watched part of a movie...it was so fun to be with a smaller group of them.

They left {chocolates in-pocket} and we called for a taxi to take us to the Girl's House. Rebecca {the house mom} is an incredible cook. She made dinner for her house and Boys House 3, since this was our last dinner with them. In true Rebecca form, she fed not only the 11 girls sleeping in her house and the 8 boys from House 3, but 5 neighborhood kids that had joined in on the party and were not asked to leave when dinner was being served.

I was, once again, so moved by the giving spirits of these kids. To watch as the older boys allowed the younger kids choose sodas first, to make sure they got what they wanted. Watch as the long line of what was now 25 people waited to be served dinner. Watched as Rebecca served each child, taking in to consideration their likes and dislikes, portion-sizes, and "soup" desires...never once snapping or complaining or even playing the martyr of the one who prepared all of the food, but was not served. Watched as the kids passed sodas back and forth to those who came in late and were not given a bottle of their own. Watched as one-by-one, neighbor kids came in and saw the huge dinner party...and, without a word, Rebecca stood up and made them a plate...even gave her soda to the last little girl.

I am so challenged by what I'm watching in that house. I really can't stop thinking about what it would look like to serve like that in my everyday life. So, stay tuned, as I try to figure it out, I guess.

More pictures...here are the highlights from the 401 photos we came home with:

Ajix and {her sister} Irene
Carrying sodas for 23 back to the house
Esokon
A few Kenyan card games, played with an Uno deck
Alfayo {neighbor kid 1--how could you refuse to feed this kid, really?!}
Irene, Jennifer {neighbor kid 2}, Alfayo
We had a lot of time before dinner
Alfayo
Isaya
Lucy {neighbor kid 3--yep, you have to feed this face, too}
Ovito
I love the idea of Sarah being so pleased with the photos she had just taken
Jordan shaking his Isaya
Irene
Esokon, Nancy, Irene and the dance party On-the-go playlist
Rael, Sarah, Irene, Kamau and Jordan
Alfayo
Jennifer, Irene and Celinah
My sweet hair-do {thanks Rael}
Rael, Celinah and Jennifer
28 people in the living room...all with giant plates and soon-to-be full bellies
Peter {neighbor kid 4--who is 2-years old, if you can believe it}
and his sister Lucy {who carried him in on her back}

Erica {neighbor kid 5} who came in with her siblings Peter and Lucy
These three are also part of the "Pato family"
I came home after dinner and cried talking to Bre. I am a little overwhelmed by God's presence in something as silly as a dinner. {Of course I know He is not too big to be a part of something like that, but I just love the small moments in which you can catch His obvious presence.}

Not only for providing an amazing home-cooked meal for those kids that otherwise would have gone to sleep hungry, but also for bringing them in on a night that we were around.

It was a great addition to the house party: 5 Oasis Centre kids that we love, who live in that neighborhood.

For the opportunity to, yet again, witness the effortless way in which Rebecca gives. Or rather, allows God to use her to provide.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

A Girl Could Get Used To This

The day began at Oasis {of course}; lots of laughter, frisbee-throwing, mandazi-eating, and organizing {okay, I think only Geoffrey and I participated in that last one--fine by me!}.

Bre and Jordan ran around while the kids waited to take their baths. {We came home with over 500 pictures from today, so I had to be selective about what to post}

Korode and Alfayo
After Oasis, we walked home to sit for a few minutes before heading out to Kibomet. We have a bag of glasses for Sister Freda's Hospital...so, of course we had to take one picture.

Moses, Leila, Steward and Bre
We headed in to town, quickly, and then out to House 2. The Class 8 boys finished their KCPE today so we brought some chocolate bars to celebrate.

Their friend, Evans, stopped by for a game of Uno.
Martin, Evans, Moses, Steward
Moses
After a few rounds of Uno, everyone started to move outside. It started as two here and two there, but soon enough, the party {and photo session} was outside.

Bre, Moses and Steward were using the water tower as a gymnasium and photo studio.
Moses and Steward
Bre and MosesShaban and Moses
Stone
The boys pair-up and do this trick: one runs toward the other, jumps off of their interlocked fingers and does a back-flip. I scream {in a mom-voice} every time. {It is really cool, but someone could easily break his neck.}
Steward flipping John
Joseph, Edwin, Moses, Pato, Martin, Shaban, Steward and Stone
Shaban, Steward, Moses, Stone and Martin
Joseph, Moses and Edwin
Bre peeking through the gate
Martin standing on top of the gate
I was a little jealous, so I climbed up too...with Moses
Though, I scraped my shin and then had to be both verbally and physically assisted in the climb down...
Edwin
Steward
Joseph, Paul and Edwin
Evans
Shaban
Paul and Joseph
Stone
Moses and Stone
Martin
We, again, bought sodas and mandazi for everyone...

At some point in the afternoon, Moses asked if this was the best day yet. I said any day that I get to watch them all laugh and play together and be with them is so fun for me...He said, "Okay, but this is the best day yet for me!" {To be fair, I did have so much fun watching them love each other...and I did keep a majority of the pictures they took...it was a pretty great day}

I had to fight back tears a few times today...it didn't help when a few different kids said, "Please don't go back to America! Please just stay here!" {Funny, it sounds a lot like what a few friends in America said about my leaving for Kitale...}

I love my two worlds.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Love Is A Good Thing

Since school is on break this week {while the Class 8 students take their KCPEs}, all of the house and boarding school kids come to the Oasis Centre to hang out for the day and eat lunch. One giant compound filled with 140-ish of my favorite kids in the entire world? Seriously, the best week ever.

Today was especially fun because the entire Oasis-supported "Pato family" was there. {Pato is the oldest child and since a majority of Kenyan families do not have family surnames, we refer to them as the "Pato" family}. Here they are, in chronological order:
Pato {House 1}, Ajix {Girls House}, Amlango {Girls House}, Irene {boarding} and Lucy {Centre}
{There are two babies: Esther and Peter still at home...
rest assured, they're Oasis bound as soon as they can walk!}
I spent most of the day making a new Oasis Photo Board...and then most of the afternoon watching the smaller kids come in and point out themselves and naming anyone they could.

After lunch at Oasis, Christine picked us up and took us out to Gilgal. When we arrived, there were about 10 students kneeling on the office floor. We were told that they had painted their nails during term, which is not allowed.

I then admitted that I had brought 6 bottles of nail polish in hopes of a special afternoon...in celebration of school term ending on Friday. At first I was told no...and then Christine gave in...

Post-painting, we took a ton of pictures:
Cute Edward
These boys smiled for the first picture, but I thought this one was so much better
Millenia



Mary changed her shoes to have her nails painted, too
Loreen
Mary {Who sang me the entire theme song to "America's Funniest Videos"--thank you, Matt Gillen}

Posing like professional footballers
Mary and her daughter "Baby" {Joy}
Christine marking exams from this week

Ben and Christine are in-process of building a children's orphanage in Namanjalala {about 15 minutes outside of town.} They took us to the site today to show us the progress and explain their hopes for the future.

They've cleared the field, prepped and built-on one slab of concrete...the bottom floor will be a church, the second floor the dorms for the orphans and a third floor will be added for the Gilgal student boys dorms.
Christine and Mary from the top
As we waited for our ride home, we made friends with some neighbor kids



I came home with a pink shirt that was now mostly brown, and sticky dirty hands...but over 150 pictures from the day...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

As a Picture Perfect Painting and a Love Forever True

Today at Oasis, I finished two projects and began two more...I love the feeling of knowing what needs to happen and jumping in each morning instead of waiting to be asked to participate or given instructions.

The newest project involved collecting pictures of each kid and each staff member...I'll explain more as the projects develops...it wouldn't be as cool to explain it without pictures.

Here are my two favorite pictures from the day:

Leila and BushuruBushuru {The running joke in Kitale--even with some street kids I don't know--is that Bushuru is my boyfriend. I like to shout things like "You're my boy, Bu!"}
After Oasis, we went over to House 2...the House 1 boys met us there.
Bre, of course, started another Uno Tournament.
These boys {Moses, Stone, Pato and Bram} were playing a Kenyan card game. I was laughing at all of the arguing that this game incorporated...and then realized that this picture displays it perfectly: Bram gesturing to Moses, Pato fighting Stone...I love it.
Today Martin, Justus and Stone finished Day 1 of the 3-day KCPE exam. Martin was a little crazy this afternoon--I'm assuming it was a sense of relief after a stressful day. He, evidently, ate two lunches and then drank my soda and his, and tried to steal Justus', too. He was giggling and almost childlike...which is out-of-character for him. It was fun to watch him today.

Steward, Martin and Justus
Martin trying to take the soda while Justus was distracted by the camera.
Steward with really long hair
{The boys don't fully understand the concept of blogging or facebook. When I took this picture, Steward said, "Please don't send mom {Lydia} this picture, she won't like my hair this long!" Lydia, please don't say anything about it!!}
Bre and Evans had matching headbands...so they took a quick "gang" shot
{Clearly they are in some sort of Jazzercise gang}
Stone wanted to be in the gang, too...
This is his gang face.
He also is slightly in love with this vest.
It looks like a parachute.
Paul carries a Math test around in his back pocket so he can work on it when he has a spare moment. Tonight, we sat together and worked on some sample problems...most of them revolving around the cost of sending a telegram. Update the test, Kitale! No one has sent a telegram since maybe the late 80s.
We're working and suddenly hear a huge roar of laughter. I turn to see these 6 boys {and Jordan} laughing hysterically at what was apparently a dancing midget.
We left as it was getting dark, so we dropped the House 1 boys closer to home. There wasn't enough room in the back seat, so a few had to crawl in the "boot" {trunk}.
We were four in the middle seat {you just can't see Paul}.
Bram and Shabaan were up in front with me and Paul.
Bre had jumped in the boot with Evans and Pato.
I love coming home, after laughing so hard, excited to recount the stories from the day...

Monday, November 9, 2009

You've Gotta Give, Gotta Give It Away

I've been thinking a lot about sacrificial giving.

Funny how so many things in my life have intersected on that topic this month:

----> When writing a message for church last weekend, God was tugging at my heart to talk about, to challenge people {to challenge myself} to serve through sacrificial giving {of our time, money and stuff}.

----> My church in California has been doing a series called "Be The Church...Change the World" This weekend was week 3. Each week has been so, so good. {In the message I'm listening to now, Kenton is talking about giving more than 100%...I fell asleep thinking about this last night--before this message was up online. Seriously, can you see God working?}

----> I started reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan {after finishing the newest in the Spud series...what a jump}, and in the first chapter, he reminds us that God doesn't beg for a part of us. God asks for all of us...and deserves all of us.

I love when God begins to teach me, so obviously, so clearly. When I can practically hear Him saying:
"HEY! THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE LEARNING!"

So, I'm in. I'm thinking. I'm spinning this over and over in my head...trying to figure out what this looks like for me. How I can continue to challenge myself {and, hopefully, challenge others} to live in a constant state of sacrificial giving.

Here's where the "logical" {I almost want to say "human"} side of me interjects:
How do I do this without being taken-advantage of? {By some, not by everyone.} How do I do this while still caring for myself and making sure my needs {more emotional needs than physical needs} are met?

But then I know. I know--with everything in me--that, if I choose to give to God--everything...choose to be sacrificial, that He will meet my needs. I say this not because I'm supposed to, but because I truly believe it. Even as I write my "human" concerns, I hear in my heart that those are silly worries. That, of course, God will look out for my emotional {and physical} needs. I can even feel, with complete assurance, that my emotional health will never be better than when I choose to completely forfeit my own comfort--my own excess--for the benefit of others.

Then a new set of "concerns" comes in:
How do I become a person who gives, without hesitating or bailing when I begin to feel the financial intrusion? Without shutting down when I feel emotionally drained? Without choosing to give sacrificially, but only when it feels comfortable?

I don't want to do this half-way.
I want to be in. Completely.

So, I guess I just do it...right?

Snakes On A Chain*

This afternoon, as we headed in to the gate at House 2, this little neighbor girl pointed behind us and said, "Snake!"

We turn around to this:Evidently, some kid found this black mamba in the bushes and killed it before it could kill anyone. {Highlights of the wikipedia page: has been claimed to move at up to 19.5 km/h (12 mph), It can strike up to 12 times in a row. A single bite from a black mamba injects enough venom to kill anywhere from 20–40 grown men. Can live in bushes and small trees and also in houses.}

Bre leaned in really close to check out the semi-smashed head. And, of course, I grabbed her arm and screamed. She jumped a few inches, which made me, Jordan, the two boys that were with us and the neighbor kids laugh. Success, if you ask me.

Halfway through the night, Martin wandered out to grab it from the fence and tried to take the fangs out. I think someone had beat him to it.

This lead to my saying how much I would love to "milk" a snake someday...to help harvest the venom which would help to create anti-venom. I saw it on The Jeff Corwin Experience. It was one of the best things I've ever seen. Bre, of course, thinks I'm nutso-cabana for both knowing the term "milking" and for harboring a desire to do so.

*Oh, the title. About 3 1/2 hours after seeing the snake, Bre says, "Oh! Snakes on a Chain! I've been trying so hard to come up with a funny pun about it! Please use that as your blog title tonight!"

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Title Wave {Bre didn't think this title was funny, I think she's wrong}

I managed to pull it together after a rough morning {and I only cried again, once provoked, right before dinner.}

All-in-all, it was a very fun, enjoyable, tear-free Sunday.
I mean, any day that begins with this little friend can't be too bad. {Joel Korode}
After church {and a delicious peanut butter and jelly lunch}, we went down to the Girl's House.
Bre bought some fabric in town and wanted to make a dress, but then realized how much work that would be, so she made an apron instead. {I just read this sentence to her, to make sure I wasn't offending her...she said, "oh, there's nothing more true than that."}

So, while Rebecca {the House Mom} taught Bre to use the non-electric {I wanted to write "human-powered", but that seems like a strange term} machine, Jordan and I kept the 10 girls and 2 boys from House 3 entertained.

It started as a backyard dance party...
"Single Ladies", "Glamorous", "Poker Face", "Spice Up Your Life"...mostly the classics, really. Of course, the camera was on and shooting at all times. I came home to 141 pictures. I kept 34.

Hellen
Notice that Bre and I are the only two dancing
Once the dancing was over, {which really means, once Jordan and I were done listening to "Single Ladies" on repeat}, we went inside to teach these smaller kids to play Uno. Seriously, Mattel, you have some creative geniuses on your team...this game requires little-to-no shared language or skill. It was so great to watch all ten of our opponents learn to shuffle through their stack of 7 {small hands, they couldn't hold them all} to find a 7 or a yellow.
Rebecca teaching Bre to sew.
Bre using all of her concentration to keep a straight seam.
This is Verity. She is typically deathly afraid of us {read: Jordan}, but today she was chatty and very friendly. She does an incredible parrot impression: anything you say, she will repeat about 25 times, until you say something else...then she'll say that. It was very, very cute.
Kamau
I went in the kitchen to help Dorcas and Janet make chapati.
Evidently, while we were rolling, Bre was teaching everyone else to do the Macarena.
Isaya, Jordan, Kamau and Alice waiting to dance.
Dorcas {came out to see what all the noise was about}
Bre, in her new apron, dancing the Macarena.
{How many times in your life can you write a sentence like that?}
Some of the girls had afternoon chores to do.
Hellen washed the dishes for dinner.
Amlango washed dishes from breakfast and lunch
Centrine and Nancy played DJ for {no joke} 3 hours.
I lost count of how many times we heard "Single Ladies"
Rebecca was preparing the cowpies for dinner.
She was shocked to hear that we had never seen or eaten them before.
I love Rebecca's patience and clarity when she explains things to us.
While all of the dinner preparation was taking place, Jordan played with the younger kids.
They played marbles, and a variation on Monkey-in-the-middle.

Jordan and Hellen
In the middle of all of this, two of the boys that live at the Oasis Centre came over to give Rebecca a message.

They stayed for maybe 10 minutes, but in that short time, I watched a few really moving {to me} things happen:
  • The boys came in and were instantly greeted {by name} by these girls {keep in mind, many of these girls came from reasonably-similar situations: parents who were absent, neglectful, or unable to care for them...life, in some respects lived on the streets}.

  • The girls made a package of a few chapati for them to take back to the centre

  • I grabbed two empty water bottles to fill {with water that three of the girls had just carried back from the river}. I filled them each half-way because I didn't want to give all of the water that the girls had just "fetched". Then Rebecca stopped me, "They are not full!" I said, "I don't want to give all of your water." She said, "Ah! We have plenty. Give them full bottles."
I love that neither these girls nor Rebecca have the feeling of being "above" these boys. I love that these girls remember how awesome it is to be unexpectedly given a bunch of chapati...or how easy it would be for these girls to get more water and so they had to give as much as possible.

I love love that those boys left that house, not feeling like intruders--or as if they had interrupted some fun that they had not be invited to join--but instead, they felt as if they were more than welcome...that they we known and cared for and given more than they had asked for or expected.

I love watching how easy it can be to love. To make someone's day. To give, not because you have to, but because that's the only natural response.

And So, It Begins Again

Today was the day.
The countdown begins.

I know I have a week left, but this week is filled with "last times".
A bunch of "No, sorry, we won't be back next week...we leave on Monday."

I fought back tears through most of church...
And I'm pausing between sentences to wipe the drops from my chin.

If only Kenya were a little bit closer to California.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Just Enjoy The Show

We had a full day yesterday...

MORNING:
It began at the ASK {Agricultural Society of Kenya} North Rift Valley Show. It is very much like the farm part of the Orange County Fair. This was not my first time to visit The Show. We walked through displays of "best farming techniques", pens filled with animals {pigs, goats, cows--though, remarkably, it is not a petting zoo-feel}, and many, many different labeled crops.

Anytime you take over 100 kids to a gigantic public event, you will end the day with an incredible amount of pictures. Our internet is running slowly this morning, so I can't get them to load here. Instead, HERE is a link to my facebook album...60 of my favorite pictures from the day.

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AFTERNOON:
After the show, we headed over to Purpose Driven Academy for their Prayer Day. Oasis has one Class 8 boy there: Kevin Wanjala {affectionately known as K Wanjals.} It was meant to begin at 10am, so we were nervous that we had missed it when we showed up at 1pm. Thankfully, it was still in full-effect. We sat in the back and, when it ended at 3, we pretended that we had been there the entire time.

We saw most of the Oasis students, who are very ready for school to release for their Christmas break. They will spend this week at home, while the Class 8 students take their KCPE and everyone returns Friday to watch graduation and close the school for the year.

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EVENING:
We ended the night with dinner at House 3. We arrived in time to take-over chapati rolling and cooking. I sat down and began to roll chapati for 13 people. Bre tried her hand at "firing" on the jiko. In the end, she got the hang of it and her chapati were delicious. {Jordan's were a little burned, but still pretty tasty, too}.

Some of the Boarding School kids sponsored through Oasis do not have families to go home to during school breaks. So, thankfully, these students are split-up between the Oasis Group Homes. Last night, Amos {who schools at Kitale Family} arrived for the first night of his stay in House 3. I love to have the "new" kids with us at house dinners. Now that we have done these dinners so often, the house boys are so comfortable and real...it gives boys like Amos the freedom to jump in and be real as well. Check HERE for some pictures of how easily Amos fit in last night. {the last page}

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We came home and looked through the almost 300 pictures from the day. We laughed at the different stories from The Show and talked about how much we love House dinners.

I love my life in Orange County...really, I do.
But sitting in that kitchen last night, giving Kamau a big zerbert on his cheek, I couldn't help but long {even just for a moment} for this to be my everyday life.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I'll Always Remember the Fifth of November

I knew today would be great. I don't think I realized just how great it would be.
We began this morning at the Prayer Day for the Class Eight of Kitale Forest Primary School.

At the end of each year, the students sit for year-end exams. At the end of class 8, they sit for the KCPE...these marks will decide were these students attend Secondary School, and that Secondary School placement will dictate the rest of their future.

The Prayer Day was explained as a day to "place the class eights in to the hands of the Lord". A dedication-of-sorts.After a brief welcome, and about half-an-hour of "praise and worship" {including a song that said, "everybody play your guitar, everybody play your trumpet"--everyone ran around playing air guitar and air trumpet}, the boys from House 2 performed two dances.
Then, a few more songs and a message from a local pastor, the Class 8 students stood in line waiting to be anointed with oil and prayed for by this woman, who may have been the Head Teacher or maybe another local pastor. {Stone}
Martin
We were then invited to stay for lunch...while we waited for it to be set-up, we took some pictures.
Justus, Martin and Evans
Steward
All of the Class 8 students awaiting lunch
Even sodas were given...which means it was a very special party
Bre started the "cheers" trend for the day, but they said "to success" with each clink
Bram, Joseph, Pato, Steward and Moses
Steward, with a price-tag on his face
Joseph, Moses and friends
Bram
Class 8 posing for a professional picture
Steward and Moses
Jordan, Justus, Johnstone and friend {whose name, ideally, begins with a 'J'}

After the Prayer Day, we stopped in town to order 14 orders of chicken and chips {chips cuckoo} for our dinner party tonight...with the 7 boys that live at the Oasis Centre.

We came out to meet the taxi, which had yet to arrive...
so we sat with Cleophas {our night guard} for a while.
Everyone else came out, too...and we joked about the tiny hut being Cleophas' night club "Omega Two" {a play on the dance club in town "Omega One"}

We were picked up by Dan, our taxi driver, who already had Geoffrey and many, many orders of chips cuckoo...

When we arrived at Oasis, we found half of the boys asleep--sick with malaria--but they woke-up to have dinner with us.

P.I.G. {which stands for Peter Is Great}, Emmanuel, Etau and Ero
Charles, Jackson and Emmanuel
Bre, Michael and Paul
Here's what the table looks like after 14 people eat a really delicious meal...
The boys were very sweetly grateful...P.I.G. said it was his very first time to eat chips.
Etau got a new jacket with this incredible "cape"
We laughed so much tonight. Each boy told us which American he considers to be his "girlfriend", they told us about where they used to "live" on the streets in town, where they sleep in the room now, and pointed fingers at who snores, talks too much, rises earliest...I was amazed at their English abilities.

When we left, the boys said, thank you about 50 times. P.I.G also told me that he is "funny every day"...seriously, he's telling the truth.

We walked out with Michael who wanted to take one more picture with Bre before we left. He held up his brand new mattress and smiled his big Michael-smile.
I came home thinking about the God that we serve that can somehow bring together 3 Americans in their twenties and 7 teenage Kenyan street boys. I was thinking how much I loved the boys willingness to invite us in, to their home, to their hearts...and how honest they were.

If I lived here, I think I would make these dinners a weekly routine. I would truly love to be a larger part of the lives of these boys...these soon-to-be men. To laugh and live with them in moments outside of the daily centre.

I can't imagine not remembering this day...every day.
Not thinking about these boys {both house and centre}...every day.
Or, at the very least, every time I eat french fries.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Something For Everyone

Today was another really fun day at Oasis. We are really moving on the profiles: Karen, the social worker, interviewed 15 kids yesterday. She has the most amazing work ethic. We are only 4 kids short of completing the process...if we could only get them to show-up everyday!

Of course, when we take the camera out to take pictures of the missing kids, a line forms.
"Alice, na mimi!" {Alice, me too!}

I wish I knew the name of the boy in the blue...he's in almost every picture from today
Here he is with David
Lucy and Celinah
Here he is with Duncan
I love Lucy
Moses, what's-his-name and Michael
Rose
Peter and Rose in the background
Michael and friend
Peter and Lucy
Peter and Michael
Michael, an older street boy, continuously loved on Peter today...
carrying him, bringing him water...it was the sweetest thing to watch
Seriously.
Michael
Peter, Joan and Elly
Joan, Michael, Peter and Bre
There are seven older boys that have been sleeping at the Oasis Centre because the streets have become too crazy for them. Each day they sit in class, eat two meals with the rest of the center kids...and then, head out to the streets to search, work or beg for money to buy some food for dinner. They come back, cook and eat together and then move in to an empty classroom to sleep for the night. {This is a temporary solution, since it could turn in to 20 not-so-respectful, older boys sleeping there, if they know that it's allowed.}

For most of these older boys, "sponsorship" {someone paying for their schooling} is not a realistic option. They are too old and too far behind to be integrated in to the formal school system. It is more likely that they will adopt a trade and begin life as a _____. {fill in the blank with carpenter, tailor, electrician, etc.}

It is rare that these boys are given any special attention...they are no longer the cute, photogenic street children...they are now older, cooler and a little bit scarier upon first glance. But, these seven are some of the kindest, most gentle boys at heart. Boys that fight to stay alive on the streets, but have no problem laughing and joking with me, holding our hands, carrying the smaller centre kids.

Today, Bre, Jordan and I got to watch as they were given mattresses, plates and utensils...a new pot to cook in, butter, salt, tea...beans, rice, corn meal {to make ugali}...and money for milk, vegetables and bread.

It was really, really cool to watch the smiles on their faces...watch as they received gifts that were completely unexpected, unasked for. Necessities {in my mind} that they have lived without {most of them} for years.
Each boy chose the mattress he wanted...
They chose different patterns, so they would not confuse whose was whose.
It was really sweet to watch them...
About 10 smaller kids waited as we watched the older boys receive their gifts, and then walked home with us. Each of us had two hands in our own, and at least one more waiting for a turn. We were racing each pod, my group, of course stopped about halfway down the road...but what a great opportunity for a picture. {Bre and Jordan with some Oasis kids}
We've been at home for a few hours and now we are headed out to tutor some Math and English...and then eat dinner with the House 2 boys...I honestly can not wait!

Turkey in the Straw

You never know what you will see on the streets of Kitale town...
Take yesterday, for instance. This man was carrying a GIANT, live turkey around like a football.

Can you tell that the turkey is looking right at me?And then there's his shirt...which is equally as awesome as the turkey...

Monday, November 2, 2009

Picture This...

This weekend was filled with great things!

Hannah and Juliet {two of the three Rwandans that live here on the compound with us...two super beautiful girls in their early twenties} came home from an extended-beyond-their-control trip to Rwanda, where they had gone to get their passports so they could stay here, in Kenya, for a long time. It's been fun to have them here, though we've really only seen them for meals {Hannah has been sick with malaria}...

I spoke in church this weekend. I set-out to write a message on the importance of serving even when you feel ill-equipped...and, it turned out to be "we love God and love others. Jesus showed this love through action, through service...if we truly love others, we show it through action, through service." At the end of the message there was a challenge to give, sacrificially, this week: of your time, money or stuff; because when we give more than what we have left-over, that is when we are forced to rely on God's provision...and that is when we see huge blessings. I asked that people find me next weekend and share, not only what God asked them to sacrifice, but also how He blessed them in that sacrifice...I'll share any stories that I hear. I'm really hoping to hear stories from, not only the adults in the congregation, but also the teenagers, and even the street boys. I'd love to hear how they hear God's voice and trust Him to use them.

Sunday was Jordan's birthday. We piled in two taxis {there are 7 of us now} and headed out to the Kitale Conservancy, which is most famous for its collection of "Deformed Animals" {that is actually how it is written on the sign}. I'm not going to post any pictures, because I don't even really like animals, and this place broke my heart a little bit. You can see pictures from the last trip HERE.

Sunday night, there was a country-wide black-out. All of Kenya was in darkness from 6:30pm to about 3am and then was on-and-off for the rest of the morning. {We could only tell because the fan was on-and-off all morning.} Laila and Juliet made dinner by candlelight and I read a book by headlamp {though not on my head, just holding it in my hand}. We all ate dinner by light of a kerosene lantern {courtesy of Ayub}. We were all in bed by 9, because there was nothing else to do...it was definitely an experience. Turns out, I'd make a terrible Quaker. {If I were Kurt, I would say, "and I don't even like oatmeal!"}

Yesterday, we headed to Oasis for the morning...I worked on profiles while Bre facilitated a big craft. Jordan had the most productive morning: going to re-activate our internet. The contracts are only by the month, so we paid half the price, for half the speed of internet, since we'll only be here half of this month.

Last night, we had dinner at Geoffrey and Olivia's. Olivia is an amazing cook...and always makes enough food for 20 people, even if there are only 9 of us! While she cooked, we watched Madagascar and then while we ate we watched Juno. Watching movies with Geoffrey is always fun because he repeats lines that he thinks are funny or will laugh again later at something he thought was funny earlier in the movie. While we were waiting for the taxi, we watched the end of a Spanish telanovela, dubbed in English. Bre asked "When is the next episode on?! It is definitely funny enough to be worth watching!"

Sorry for the text-only post...pictures are coming, I promise.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

He Gives Gladness For Mourning, Peace For Despair

After a morning at Oasis, we headed out to Discover to Recover. We had spent Thursday night praying and sitting with Patricia {who founded Discover to Recover} as she prepared to make the nine-hour drive to bury her husband in his home village. She asked that we please go to the center and spend some time with these grieving children, many of whom have just "lost their second father in their lifetime". {Ugh, that is such a heartbreaking statement}

Anthony, who is the House Dad for Oasis Boys House 3, mentioned to us last week that he has always wanted to visit Discover to Recover, but wasn't sure where it was exactly. So, yesterday, Anthony met us at Oasis and headed to Kibomet for an afternoon of trying to bring some laughter to these kids. He was incredible; he jumped out of the taxi and instantly in to the hearts of these kids...it was very sweet to see him care for kids that he wasn't responsible for, simply because he has a heart for broken children.

The school was closed, for mourning, and many of the kids that live at the centre had taken the day off from their school as well...so there were so many faces that I had only seen a few times. It was very, very fun to get to love on those that we don't often see.

Jordan teaching the kids to do the "exploding fist bump"
Stella {who works at the Centre} brought out a bottle of bubbles

Benja and Churchill

Derrick
I was dizzy from blowing bubbles, so Jordan took over and finished the bottle
This little 10-year old girl spoke almost perfect English

About 15 minutes in, my camera disappeared with some of the kids and came back with some great pictures


I think this boy looks like he could be related to Steward from Oasis Boys House 2
I love, love Benja
Derrick


See how much Anthony was loving it
Julie
Bre spent the afternoon with a few of the older girls, laughing and making a ring...
I love getting in the car and being so excited about what we just experienced...sharing stories of the kids whose stories we got to hear and share in, even if only for an afternoon...

Shower the People You Love With Love

I've been helping update the Oasis children profiles. Each child is interviewed when they come to Oasis {questions about family, housing, drugs, hygiene, hopes and ambitions}. The plan is that they would have their picture taken, all of the information would be compiled in to a form on the computer and then printed out and alphabetized in to one folder...so far, so good.

Yesterday, we had a list of kids that were missing pictures...and once the camera is brought out, there's no stopping at profile pictures.

Joel, Elly, Alfayo, David and Benson
Tony
James {this is his profile picture...he brought out a broken cell phone as a prop}
Elly
Peter
Celinah
Celine
Esther
Alfayo

Lucy

How can you not just love these sweet faces?

Friday, October 30, 2009

Take Me Home Tonight

On Wednesday night, Geoffrey took us to visit the homes of some of the Oasis kids. We brought a few gifts for each house: a blanket, laundry soap and a package of corn flour {from which a staple meal, ugali, is made}. Geoffrey, in his ever-organized way, had made a list of each kid's house, starting from the furthest home and winding us back to our house. It was so efficient...

These homes are all in Shimo La Tewa: a large slum in the middle of Kitale. Most of these families, from what we've heard, are single parent families. If there are two parents "present", more often than not, one {if not both} exists, but is not actually participating in life. Some of these parents get work when possible, but even then most of the money goes toward rent, and if there is money remaining, they buy food. Because there is not much "spare" money, these families can not send their children to school. {Kenyan public schools are free, but each child must buy a uniform, school books, supplies, etc.}

{A little bit about my thought process} It's easy, for me, to look at this neighborhood {and others like it--or worse} and question God. How can He allow such poverty. Where is the provision, the meeting of basic needs, for these families? I spent quite a while wrestling over and weeping about this. Then, I watched these kids arrive as Oasis of Hope each morning. Eating two meals a day, learning to read, write their names, do multiplication tables, recite Bible verses. Bathing, laughing, playing. Being taken to the hospital when necessary. It is Geoffrey and the Oasis of Hope staff {with huge financial help from Lydia and others} that are physical embodiments of God's provision to these kids. I love that God, in His timing, unveiled that lesson...I love that there are people who saw the need and did something to help.

Chris, Daina and I had made a similar trip last November. Of the twelve homes we visited, I had been to a few before. It was very fun to re-visit a few homes. It was also so sweet to walk through the back fields of Shimo hand-in-hand with a kid who is so excited to take us to his house, to meet his family, to show-off his white friends to his neighbors.

This is Peter {blue shirt and sweet blazer}
Peter's parents ran-off, leaving him and his little brother with his Aunt and Grandmother. Here is Knight {yellow shirt}. Knight lives with her mother and 6 siblings.
Here is Brenda and her sister, Nancy.
The girls are the only two children and live with both parents.

This is Ferdinand. He and his sister, Bevin, live with their father.
Both are in Bre and Leila's {in the blue} class at Oasis.
This is Elizabeth {checkered dress}.
Elizabeth is one of 11 children.
She lives here with her smiley mama who was so happy that we came to visit that after we prayed for her, she prayed for us.
This is Celine {green jumper}
She lives with her brother and their Grandmother.
Oh, and their dog, Rocky.
This is Rispah {black and red sweatshirt}.
Rispah's was one of the houses we'd visited last year, too.
She is the oldest of 6 kids...5 girls and one boy.
We were followed through Shimo by an Oasis boy on a bicycle. He knew it was almost his turn to lead us to his home.
This is Tom {blue sweater}.
He and his brother, Kevin {black zip-up}, and his sister, Elizabeth {who has TB and had gone for treatment with their mother} attend Oasis each day.
We were greeted by an older brother who lives in this home with them.
After Tom's house, it was time to walk across the Shimo Bridge. Geoffrey had arranged for Dan {our taxi driver} to drop us before the last house and drive to the other side of the bridge, so we wouldn't miss this. Seriously, so efficient.
We were met by Brenda and Nancy...and about 10 other neighborhood kids who had heard there were some white people walking around handing out candy.
The Shimo Bridge
We asked Manu to walk down in to the valley below to take a picture.
On the other side of the bridge, we visited some familiar families...

These are {left to right}: Jennifer, Esther and Celinah.
They live with their mother, who is holding baby Chris {named after Chris Wohlers, which only makes me love him more} and their other brother John.
These girls are, easily, some Oasis favorites...they have the best personalities and love to dance and sing. {Bre taught them the Macarena...which is only cute because they are so tiny...and is definitely getting old}
Speaking of Oasis favorites, this is Alfayo {yellow shirt}.
This summer, Alfayo was crowned "King of Shimo". They even held a parade in his honor.
Alfayo lives with his mother, sisters {Mercy and Evelyn} and little brother, next door to the sisters pictured above.
This is baby Peter. He is the youngest of the family that has the most children involved in Oasis programs. His mother has been known to say, "I have babies and then give them to Geoffrey."
This is Peter's mama.
And this is half of the family. The mama {and present, but not contributing father} live in this small room with the three children still at home {left to right} Peter, Lucy and Erica.
They have four other children: Patrick {Oasis Boys House 1}, Christine and Ajikon {Oasis Girls House} and Irene {boarding school at Kitale Family School}
This mother has the strongest DNA of anyone I've ever seen...each of her six children looks exactly like her.
Our last stop was Christine's {flower top}. Christine and her 4 siblings live with her parents on a small farm across from a beautiful field of sunflowers. This was the only house that Geoffrey did not have to translate what we said because her mother understood English very well.
It was interesting to come home and make mental lists of all of the other things it would be great to "gift" those families: mattresses, sugar, beans...nothing fancy, just some "luxuries"...

Every Day Is Like Sunday

Sunday morning we went to Oasis Church. {I'm teaching there this weekend and wanted to make sure I didn't teach the same thing}

Alfayo {who has been dubbed 'King of Shimo'--more on that later} greeted us at the gate. I loved his little hat, so I had to take a picture.This is Alfayo's sister...can't you see the resemblance?
After church, we headed home to relax for a bit before my final birthday celebration. We had dinner at Pinewood {a restaurant that serves both Indian and Chinese food...and used to have a dance club attached to it}.

Charlotte, Geoffrey and Olivia's job met us there.
Olivia, Bre, Me, Charlotte and Layla.
The entire party:
Me, Geoffrey, Bre, Olivia, Charlotte, Jordan, Layla, Emmanuel and Dan
Dan did not stay for dinner, claiming he only eats ugali {more on that later, too}
A great end to the birthday weekend...lots of laughter and great food...exactly what I would have hoped for!